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The massacre of the unicorns is here
Here’s the hit list
The great tech unicorns of the late 2010s are starting to see cracks in their investor-funded castles. This is not a well-sourced post. This is speculative. This is alarmist propaganda.
1. Uber and Lyft’s business models do not work— not for riders, not for drivers, not for the app developer gatekeepers. The only people getting rich are the sleazy founders.
2. Instacart, Uber Eats, Grubhub, and the like also depend on paying their workers almost nothing. Gas prices are through the roof. GoPuff yourselves.
3. The elder Gen-Z workforce with disposable income absolutely hates Airbnb. They’re going back to hotels, middle fingers in the air. If they wanted to sleep in a house with passive-aggressive rules, they’d return to their parents’ homes.
4. WeWork from home now motherfuckers.
5. Tesla is overvalued. Elon is losing his fucking mind. The EV market is about to get more saturated than an amateur photographer’s first Instagram post.
6. Also, Instagram is basically dead. Facebook too.
7. Zillow is setting the prices for the houses they purchase. What could go wrong?
8. No one writes for fun in a recession. Are we paying $135 for Grammarly? Bring on the typoes.
9. Crypto and NFTs. Lol
10. And when all the tech unicorns die, who will buy wool footwear from Allbirds?